Entry 23: The Wait

I'm curling up in the wait.

That time when you wait for your supervisor to send you feedback of your write-up. Sometimes it takes a couple of days, sometimes a few, sometimes even a week depending on how busy your supervisor is. I'm lucky I have a super efficient supervisor. I remembered when close to M.Phil submissions, the wait would take only a few hours, while some of my friends wait for two weeks and more. But here I am with a supervisor who would give me a break, allow me to slide when I have health problems or some family matters that needs attention. I couldn't ask for a better one.

So what do you do during the wait?

Everything under the sun. You relax, cook in your room, learn a new song, write a couple of articles for some Students' Union magazine, go for a movie and even flea market shopping. You even have time to miss home and feel terribly homesick, have a sitcom marathon and sleep early.

Of course, the wait is only temporary.

Until you receive that e-mail or text on the date for your next meeting. And realize you have to gear up for the next set of re-writes and drafts all over again.

Until the date for the meeting comes, I shamelessly bask in the wait!

Entry 22: Biting off too much??

Sometimes I feel like I'm biting off much more than I can chew! Somehow I feel I'm not the only one. 

The main purpose behind this hardly-read blog is to give me a space to vent and escape when it all seems to much to take. By 'it' I mean language research. So here I am in an escape mode once again!

Lately, my stress-related health problems are peaking prominently after my latest stint with viral fever. 

These days, I complain once more of shoulder pains. Yes, I'll definitely reach destination Frozen Shoulders by the time I am 40. I might even make it there a decade early. Engkima, my friend/ foe/ honorary brother/ hostel mate/ jogging companion/ mess mate/ shrink/ massage therapist, will have another hard week ahead. I admire his endurance while 'de-freezing my shoulders'. I'll whimper, squeal, scream and I even kicked him once!! I know, I need to get more serious about my shoulder exercises.

My sinusitis flares up terribly these days. And winter hasn't even taken a peek in our beloved Delhi yet! 

It's a blue Monday today. And I have been here sitting on my massively cluttered work desk for the past 6 hours while pain shoots up between my shoulder blades. I hope to finish this draft by evening, read a couple of papers and finish framing a questionnaire before I can go for a lovely walk in campus.

There's a funeral I have to attend this evening. Of course, social life can't take a back seat!

I can't even remember the last time I've been out with the boyfriend! Funny how these things take the back seat once you get too comfortable with it!

I'm not a pro at juggling priorities, but I feel I've become pretty good over the years. After all, the thing I fear most after getting into research is to be an intellectual who doesn't contribute to the society. 

But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel I bite off much more than I can chew! 

It could be the Blue Monday talking, or the  painful shoulder blades!But nonetheless, I can't switch off the escape mode just yet!

I know, I need extra shelves! But if you see the size of my room, you'd tell me this is just fine! :)

Yep... I read Lai bible to get me better acquainted with the language!

Entry 21: Field: Day 12: The long road home

21st June, Tuesday

Lawngtlau- Lunglei- Aizawl

We left Lawngtlai at 7:30 AM in a drizzly foggy morning! We were supposed to arrive an hour before lunch at Lunglei. But our car had a flat tyre and we ran out of spare tyres. We were still a good 10 kms away from the nearest service station. So my dad called up my cousin and we couldn't do anything but wait for relief.

The smile lasted for 30 minutes approx. It was all frowns for the rest of the wait!

I got bored after half an hour and roamed around for something to click!

When relief came after two hours, we were cold and hungry. So we were more than happy to go ahead to Lunglei to have lunch while waiting for our tyre to be fixed. At Lunglei, I met my newborn niece for the first time. I thought I was hungry but I was more engrossed with the tiny little human rather than the lunch. I made a few phone calls to a few friends apologizing. I had promised some friends a meet-up but then I couldn't make it due to the unavoidable delay. A couple of them were surely not happy with me. Who can blame them? I wasn't happy with me and my schedules either.

The little human. The teacup human! :D

We left Lunglei at around 2:00 PM. We expected to have dinner at Aizawl. Lunglei was only five hours from Aizawl. Or so we thought. 

I fell asleep in the car. I woke up just in time to see a snake crossed the road just as we entered Mausen village!! I screamed as we ran over the snake. We didn't want to but the snake 'threw' itself right before our wheels. My dad then talked about the bad things that are bound to follow when you ran over a snake while on a long run. "Flat tyre" he specified. I laughed. We already had a flat tyre in the morning and our tyres were all checked and the flat one replaced with a brand new tyre.  There's no way that we should have a flat tyre.

Not so.

We were 10 kms from Aibawk when we got another puncture. But I find it strange that the new tyre we just replaced was the one with the puncture. Luckily we had a spare tyre and we changed it and headed on.

The second puncture in a day! I blame it on the snake!

The culprit! We dug this out at a service station in Aibawk.

 It was getting dark and raining when we reached Aibawk. We drove slowly looking for a service station. We found one which was run by a woman. Oh yeah! You should see this woman fixing the tyre. Sometimes she'd hit the tyre, sometimes sit on the crowbar when she realized it won't budge with her arms. She fixed and change the tyre all on her own. All we did was sit and watch.  And I had never admired a woman so much when it comes to mechanics. If I ever drive by Aibawk, I should remember to go say 'hi' to that woman. I'm such a big fan!!

The wonder-woman with tyres.

Driving away from Aibawk, we thought we're done with the road problems. But then again, there was a landslide at Muallungthu, a few hours away from Aizawl. Unbelievable isn't it?? And we were stuck there for a couple more hours while we wait for the roads to get cleared. By that time, I was so frustrated, tired and sore that I just wanted to cry.

When we reached home, it was well pass 10:00 PM.  It takes 9 hours approx. to reached Aizawl from Lawngtlai. But we took well over 14 hours. The long road home indeed!!

Sometimes I wish I could go back to Mausen and run over that snake again and again and again.

It's just a wish though!

And the dutiful girlfriend always makes it a point to tell her exact location while on the road! :D

Entry 20: Field: Day 11: Meeting last contact.

20th June, Monday

Lawngtlai.

Today, I surprised myself and woke up early enough to help my aunt cook brunch. My appointment to meet my last contact was shifted to 11:00 AM so I spend the morning bathing the kids and teaching the eldest a nursery rhyme.

Finally, at 10:30 AM I left my aunt's place and headed towards the LADC office to meet Mr. Hmun Hre. I would sheepishly admit that I entered the wrong building! But then I met a friend of my cousin who guided me towards the new building. The office staffs were pleasant and helpful and put me right through for the meeting. How I wish the same staff would be in JNU during scholarship renewal season! Sigh! 

I couldn't express my gratitude enough when Pu Hmun Hre gave me an uninterrupted two whole hours for my interview. He told his staff to lock his office from outside during the interview. A busy man holding the post of  Vice Chairman, Planning and Commission in the Lai Autonomous District Council, two hours is a lot for him. After the interview, we switched numbers and he told me he'll contact me when he visits Delhi. (Which he did. He called me yesterday and told me he'll reach Delhi in a week's time and told me to be ready with my new batch of questionnaires! Ah! Lucky me! )

Pu Hmun Hre at his office in LADC office, Lawngtlai

I've already written excerpts of my interview with Pu Hmun Hre when it comes to colors in my other blog. (Click here to go to the post) Though he failed miserably in the names of colors, he is one person to ask about the history and all other general information about the Lai people and the Lai language.

After leaving the LADC office, I went to the Guesthouse where my dad was staying. According to our schedule, we were supposed to leave Lawngtlai in the afternoon and spend a night at Lunglei. But when I reached the guesthouse, my dad was sick so we had to replan and stay one more night at Lawngtlai. 

My one night stay at the guesthouse was one fitful night. It's so far, perched on a hilltop and maintenance was well neglected. Though I know I'd miss Lawngtlai terribly, I couldn't wait to leave the guesthouse and be on the road back to Aizawl.

Entry 19: Field: Day 10: Lazy Sunday at Lawngtlai.

19th June, Sunday

Lawngtlai.

I woke up late today. I must have been tired from all the adventures on the road yesterday. When I got up, the morning meal was all prepared and my uncle and my aunt were just waiting for me to get up! Imagine my embarrassment! 

As we were getting ready for church, my aunt was concerned about what I was wearing to church. I brought exaclty one pair of formal wear for my travel because I know I was going to spend two Sundays on the road. However, I also knew I would attend two different churches (maybe in a different village) so I packed my green top and a matching puan. My aunt kept on telling me that my top was to old and my puan too 'tunlai lo'. Don't get me wrong, whenever I come home for holidays, I always made sure I pack my best clothes. But  somehow, they always end up looking old or out-of -date when I reach Aizawl after just a matter of hours. The case was the same even here in Lawngtlai. My aunt kept rummaging through her well -ironed Sunday wear as she kept telling me "Hei hi i duh em? Nge hei zawk hi? Nula nih chuan nalh deuha in chei tur!"  I ended up with her black top and her tunlai puan and felt awkward in the new gear.

 I went to church but I hardly listened to the sermon as I spend most of the time running after my hyperactive cousins. By afternoon, I was so tired that I napped with my infant cousin for a few hours. I woke up to a ruckus. I have no words for it. You just have to watch the video!

I know! I am being mean! But my cousins will thank me one day when they grow up!

We had a relatively quiet dinner and I babysat my three cousins while the parents went for an evening service. Staying for a few days with my aunt made me admire stay at home moms and helpful daddies much more than I previously had. It would be wrong to say that there's no adventure today because attempting to keep peace between three kids all under the age of 4 is one heck of a job.

When the evening service got over, I was more than happy to sign the kids over to the parents. We retired early for the night as I had an early appointment at the LADC office to meet another informant the next day.

Entry 18: Field: Day 9: The road back to Lawngtlai from Sangau

18^th June, Saturday

Sangau to Lawngtlai.

We woke up early. We have a long road from Sangau to Lawngtlai. All our phones had died down because there was no electricity for the last three days. We couldn’t contact any other villages so we just started out blindly. As we were about to leave, an uncle (Forgive me. But I'm blessed with lots of uncles. Especially in Sangau.) ran after our car. When we stopped he gave me a book written in Lai. It turns out that when he was told I was doing a language research which has something to do with Lai, he spend the night digging into his book collection. It warms me to know that there are people who care for me and my research. I made a mental vow not to fail those people.

My reminder on why I should give my research my best: Ka Zahpi lo - Hrang Nawl.

Just an hour onto the road, our car got stuck in the steep muddy road near Ceu Lui at the foothills of Phawngpui. My dad and I got down and pushed it. I have had a lot of practice pushing vehicles for a running start during my days back in Shillong. But I tell you, there ain’t no fun pushing a car stuck uphill. A truck came by and some of its passengers helped us push it out of the slippery mud. The car just got out of the mud when it died down again. We checked it and realized that the water dried up. Luckily there was a BRTF camp nearby and we took water from there and cooled the radiators.

Staring at Phawngpui a.k.a Blue Mountains from Ceu Lui. I didn't make an effort to climb it this time.  I am no fan of the Phawngpui Leeches!

Car Trouble : Look at the face of the one who who forgot to 'water' the car. Ha!! 

We were just about to start out when a family friend, U Sawmtea and his friend showed from nowhere. The truck that helped us push the car out of the mud, went to the next village and told them that our car broke down. Ah! How I love the hospitality and the self-sacrificial spirit in this part of the world. But with our car problem solved,  U Sawmtea invited us to visit his dad’s farm. My dad hesitated a bit, but we ‘seduced’ him with the mini-tuibur factory at the farm. I must add, it’s safe to say that Tuibur is one vice that my dad can’t get rid of.

Tuibur Factory at Pu Thathrina's farm.

Pu Thathrina Thlam: The inside of the farmshed.

We spend around an hour at Pu Thathrina’s farm. The little farm had a fish pond right in the mid-slopes. The view was breath-taking with the magnificient Phawngpui looming and shadowing the farm. I took a walk uphill the farm and enjoyed myself picking fresh vegetables and taking pictures of the 100% organic farm. But my walk was interrupted by a morning shower. So I headed back to the little farmshed.

After the short walk

We had brunch at Ceural village at a house which I noticed had a nice little fruit orchard just attached to the kitchen garden. This is one of the things I love about this village - fruit orchard and also the hardworking nature of the people who hailed from this village. I shared a quick beauty tip on how to use ripe avocado fruit as a mask with the lady of the house before we left. Avocado is aplenty in this village. Sigh!! And it's so pricey back in good old Delhi.

We made quick stops at the usual villages as on our way to Sangau. When we reached Saiha, it was getting dark. We had a quick dinner at Saiha and left for Lawngtlai soon after. I would have loved to stay in Saiha for the night but my dad had people to meet at Lawngtlai on Monday. And it was against my dad's ethics to travel on a Sunday. Though I don't share his ethics, it is not quite acceptable to travel on a Sunday when you're in Mizoram. 

It was nearing midnight when we reached Lawngtlai. My dad checked into the GuestHouse while I choose to stay at my aunt's place. 

By midnight I was safely in bed in the balmy heat of Lawngtlai, missing the cold winds of Sangau!!

Entry 17: Field: Day 8: My well deserved Day Off!

17^th June, Friday.

Sangau

Listen did I, to the winds last night. But by morning, a storm blew. I cocooned myself under my blanket, not wanting to get up because of the cold. By the time I got up, my uncle told me that we were invited someplace else for brunch. Lazily my cousin and I changed and went. On our way, two motorbikes came to pick us up. Such gentlemen they were! They knew my uncle’s place was on the far end of the village so they volunteered to pick us up. I hesitated though. I am a very bad, alarmed and panicky pillion rider. And with the rain and storm, the roads are muddy and slippery which didn’t do any good for my edgy characteristics. I took a long hard look at the man on the bike. Lalfaka, a policeman (I later learnt) was a broad, huge and strapping young man. So I decided to put my trust in him and climbed behind him. 

Call me anxious, but if you see the road at Sangau this morning, I know you won’t blame me. We reached our destination safely. But while getting down from the bike, my shoeslaces got tangled on the bike and I fell… no! Almost fell!! The bike slipped but somehow I caught hold of the guy’s jacket. He laughed, people on the road laughed. I fumed and walked off with pride which didn’t last after I slipped and fell… right then and there!

Sangau in Monsoon: Don't get me wrong, this is from the part of the village without the blacktop roads.  Nonetheless, My cousin gave me a ride on his bike on roads worse than these. Ah! Courage!

Only after reaching did I come to learn that one of my relatives welcomed by dad by killing a pig. There goes my high nose and my welcome wagon at Lawngtlai!! We had our morning meal at that place and stayed till noon.

It's been years since my dad visited Sangau. I agree that it is indeed unacceptable to some, provided that my dad is in politics. But standing on my Dad's defense, he has been battling hypertension for years. And after Ma passed away, it has gotten worse. And sometimes, I feel he stays away from his own hometown because the landscape and the people reminded him too much of my mother. My suspicion was confirmed on this trip with him. I saw how lonely he gets when he visits people, the look on his face when people remembered Ma. I made a mental note to myself that I'd accompany him to Sangau every single holiday I get.  

Whenever my dad arrives at Sangau, he always made it a point to meet Grannies. So in the afternoon we decided to visit grannies. So we went to visit three Grannies.

The first Granny we met was 92 years old. She was one of the oldest grannies in Sangau. Yet she called my dad by name when we entered her room. When I introduced myself, the first thing she told me was that I looked like my mother. I smiled. I get that a lot, especially from older women. She then, leaned onto me and whispered that I should somehow force my dad to get married. I laughed. She then told me that the cold Sangau weather is killing her and when she tried to get out of bed she said that she smelt bad and took out a bottle of perfume from under her pillow and sprayed herself. I was surprised. How many old women would do that? I pray I still take care of myself and take other people into consideration if I ever reach her age.

The second granny that we met is my dad’s paternal aunt. She was 89 years old and very sick when we went to meet her. She recognized my dad but she was already partially deaf that we have to talk loudly to her. When I introduced myself, she told she missed my Ma terribly. Then she went on to tell me that, she was tired of living and that she asked God many times to take her; but He refused. I felt bad for her.

Finally, the third Granny I met, my dad’s maternal aunt was 90 years old and was praying when we entered her room. This Granny was partially blind and also partially deaf. She was the first granny who didn’t recognise my dad. After my dad introduced himself, her face lit up and she accused my dad of being as absconder for so long. Then she turned to me and talked to me in Lai just like the other Grannies. When I answered in Lai, she was taken aback and kept talking to me. Then she later said that she was proud of me and also told me that my mother didn’t speak Lai either when my parents first got married. She also encouraged me to learn it more. My dad had told me earlier that this granny had been very weak for almost a decade. Yet one morning, she woke up and told her family that God told her that He would bless her with long life. That was three years ago.

My crash course in Lai: Granny No. 3 and I

In the evening, my neighbour killed my dad a goat. Ah! When it comes to the welcome wagon, my dad beat me mercilessly at Sangau. I admit defeat!

After dinner, I sat with my nephew and for the first time in two days, I spoke fluent Lai. Thanks to all the practice with the Grannies. My nephew stayed with his grandparents at Sangau while his younger siblings lived with the parents at Aizawl. We talked for hours and I told him about his younger siblings and we shared bicycle stories and showed each other our bicycle scars. Needless to say, his scars didn’t even stand up to a quarter the number of my scars.

Bonding time: I was so proud of my nephew who helped his Grandpa with all the household chores. I gave a  report with flying colors to his parents when I reached Aizawl.

During the two days we were in Sangau, the whole village was on a blackout. The storm destroyed a transformer and blew down trees which in turn destroyed the electric wires.We signed in early that night but the mosquitoes kept me up late that night.

(Notes: Apologies to the two month gap between the consecutive posts. I misplaced my field diary and left without it when I came back to Delhi. My Dad found it and brought it with him when he came to visit me last week!! ) 

Entry 16: Field: Day 7: Sweaters in Summer

16th June 2011, Thursday

Sangau

I froze last night.

Did I ever mention that Lawngtlai was hot and humid? Well it was. But when I reached Sangau, it was cold, drizzling and windy. The wind howled the whole night. I crumpled under my twin blanket and listened to the wind and the mosquitoes circling my head. I’ve never felt more cold during summer.

I woke up this morning with the wind still howling outside my windows. I rushed out of the bedroom to a few neighbours coming over for morning tea. And it was only 5:30 in the morning. I rushed to get dressed and by 6:00 AM I was all ready and geared to meet another contact.

By 6:30 AM I was armed with a recorder, a pen and a paper at my uncle’s place on a little hillock. There was a slight drizzle still beating against the window and the winds haven’t died down yet. My contact/informant was an old man of 66 years old yet he still has clear memories and answered a lot of my questions about Mizo and Lai history and about the Lai language. My informant, clearly was a Lai patron.  We spend 6 whole hours discussing the Lai history, the etymology of the word 'Sangau' (a very interesting topic. Maybe I'll blog about it someday!) and the Lai language in general.  However, one sad thing happened, my recorder died before I could finish the interview. Note to self: Must always have batteries fully charged. Recorder, Camera and phone. Ever since I’ve reached Sangau, there has been no electricity. So I couldn’t charge any of my equipment.

My informant: Pu Hulha who promised me that he'll dig into his old files and  compositions by the next time I travel to meet him. I hope to be back at Sangau by December! :)

 I spend the morning with Pu Hulha and set out in the afternoon to watch a friendly football match between the Sangau Police Vs. Sangau VC members. It was hilarious to see old men with shorts running after a ball in a muddy field and kicking it in any direction they could. My Uncle was supposed to play too. But regardless of the number of times he ran alongside the field, he made it only for the goalkeeper. By the time the game ended, the Sangau VC had won 4-1.

The Sangau Police Team. My Uncle with the black shirt is all talk and hardly play! 

The Sangau 1 & 3 VC team. Oh Yes! I had the guts to ask both the teams to pose for me!

 After the match, I called up another contact that Mading gave me. This contact gave me a book that I know would be of good use. I took it at an old friend’s place for photocopying. But then again, No electricity, so I just left it there for him to make the copy when the electricity came.

And now as I sit here under my quilt, typing these lines in the light of an old kerosene lamp, my netbook battery reads “35% remaining”. The electricity better come tomorrow or I’ll have to leave town. I just got a random thought that my laundry is piling up and I need to wash my hair. It’s only 9:30 PM now, but it’s just too cold, wet and windy that I know I will get sick if I wash my hair now.

I miss Phabo tonight. Terribly. But my phone battery died by lunch hour today.

So I’ll listen to the wind against the trees out in the garden and somehow try to send a telepathic message. 

Entry 15: Field: Day 6: Saiha to Sangau

15th June 2011, Wednesday

Saiha

My photon worked in Saiha. Woohoo!! I left a message at Facebook and checked my mail. I know I have to gear myself for the long road to Sangau. I know, I know, it’s a mere 81 kilometre ride from Saiha. But when you’re stuck in a spell of roadsickness, even 10 kilometres in the winding and narrow mountain roads can be such a pain.

Visiting Sangau for my field wasn’t exactly my priority. Yet, since my dad joined me in Lawngtlai, I decided to join his programme and go with him till Sangau. Meeting and interviewing more people won’t hurt my fieldwork either. Besides, I get to meet families and relatives after 2 whole years of staying in Delhi without any holiday. I wanted to visit Vawmbuk, a village on the slopes of the highest mountain range in Mizoram. Yet, monsoon rain washed away the only road to the village. I still have hopes of going there. But somehow my dad intervened saying that I could find all data at Sangau itself. So I decided to join him till Sangau and still hope to make plans to go to Vawmbuk after that.

The road from Saiha to Tlangpui

We started out at Saiha at 10 in the morning and made quick stops at Bualpui NG, Siacangkawn, Rawlbuk, Lungpher and Ceural. What can I say? I’m travelling with my dad. On the other hand, I get to stretch my legs and go exploring. And while my dad sat at some meetings I went hunting for phone signals, one of which I found from a tea-stall bathroom in SiaCangkawn and another near a certain pigsty at Ceural. We reached Sangau just when it was getting dark.

The phone signal has full bars near this pigsty in Ceural... Haa!!

A Porch at Lungpher on a drizzly day!

Bonus point today: I didn’t get roadsick… Yea yea yea. Iron-lined stomach’s back.

Entry 13: Field: Day 5: Great Grandma and Saiha Bound

14th June 2011, Tuesday

Lawngtlai.

I woke up to my KingKong cousin lying next to me and giving me a toothless smile. That made my day already. But the intense heavy heat of the sunrise stopped me on my tracks to sheer blissdom. I never knew Lawngtlai would have such heavy heat!!

After brunch, I went to meet my Great Grandmother. Yes! The one from whom I got my cheekbones from. My Great grandma, my mother’s maternal grandma, is 102 years old according to record and she is literally blind. I was told that she hardly comes out of her room to meet visitors, and when she does, she sits in the exact same place every single time, she drinks from the same water bottle every day and would ask my aunt to rinse it if anyone else even do as much as hold the bottle. She speaks Lai language with a fluent Khuafo dialect, one of the very few who does, yet she prays in Mizo language.

My Great Grandma doesn’t know me by face. When I told her my mother’s name, she touched my face and told me I looked like my mother. She also quickly added that my face is way too round to look as good as my mother. I laughed.  She wasn’t the first to tell me that. This was only the second time that I’ve met her. The first time I met her, two years ago, she prayed for me and when I told her I wanted to take a picture with her, she rushed to change into her traditional clothing and went to wash her face!! This time when I told her I want to take a picture with her, she told me that it should only be me in the picture and not my other cousins. I gladly obliged.

My Great Grandma and I

And after my aunt clicked our picture, she turned to me and, out of the blue, said, “ Who are you?”. My heart broke as I told her my mother's name again. 

After I left my greatgrandma’s place, I went to collect my luggage from my cousin’s place and bade goodbye to Arama and his brother. I also made a quick stop at my cousin’s shop and later went to wait for my dad in the car.

We left Lawngtlai at 4:30 PM and reached Saiha at 7:30 PM. The 70 kilometre journey from Lawngtlai to Saiha with the brief rain was beautiful. At one point, a double rainbow shot through with the setting sun. Overwhelmed, I reach for my camera only to realize that my batteries were down.

Kawlchaw village, en route to Saiha. I should have saved my batteries for the double rainbow! :(

Need I say I got roadsick again???? Whatever became of me and my iron-lined stomach!!

Entry 13: Field: Day 4:A Visit to the Lai Autonomous District Council Library - A Disappointment.

13th June, Monday

Lawngtlai.

I got invited to brunch at an aunt’s place where I suffered from another episode of overeating pork. Whew! Lawngtlai… my jeans are getting tighter and my belly’s gaining its jelly! Thanks to my overwhelmingly welcoming relatives who always have the grace to invite me over for dinner, for lunch and even for brunch. I made a mental note to boast to my dad about the welcome wagon I received. My dad will also arrive at Lawngtlai today and I doubt if he will receive the same welcome that I received. Ha!!

 Arama called me during brunch and told me to be at the Council Office by first hour because the staff had some work on field and will not be in the office for long. So packed with my huge field gear, I rushed and was ready by 9 AM. I waited for an hour and a half. Did I hear it right?? First hour?? 

Finally by 10:30 AM, the staff arrived and I headed towards the Council Library.

I have just one word to say about the experience.

DISAPPOINTED.

The first thing the librarian (recently-appointed I later learnt) told me was that they were shifting the library to another room and apologised for the mess. I don’t see much of a mess in the first place. There are too few books to create a mess. I inquired and I was told that the library has 4657 books according to record. I didn’t want to offend the librarian by counting the books, but I don’t think the library would even have half the amount of books on the register.

When I browsed through the books, almost all the books dealing with the topic that I was searching for was either missing or checked out. But what surprised me was that borrowing books were not allowed. Then how come books are checked out??? I was told that it was the higher officials who checked out the books. And most of them went missing.  My frustration peaked when I was told there was no photocopier in the building. So I ended up taking pictures of the many pages that I needed. The librarian was however surprisingly accommodating, giving me names of individuals who, he said, ‘will have a better collection of books than the Council Library.’ He also told me that I could check out the books if I want to make copies but should also make sure that I should return them. I left after three hours without taking a single book. The reason, I am not about to bend the so-called rules. Call me shrewd. But I would rather write about it and criticize about such malpractice rather than accommodate myself with it.

The librarian also made mild complaints about the negligence from the officials and maintenance funds which never reached the library.

I laughed, silently. The irony of it all.

I don’t even know where to begin. Here I stood in the middle of the Library of the District Council which I’ve heard so much about. An Autonomous District Council which is the only District Council in the world that the Lai community can ever claim as their very own. A Council, I trust, whose main aim is to promote and uplift the betterment, living conditions, identity and culture of the Lai Community in Mizoram. I wonder what kind of community will we create if we are not even well equipped with the written knowledge?! 

The LADC Library on date

I know I may sound biased because I could hardly find the books that I need. But I know I am right when I say that education should not be neglected especially with a community as small and lost-with-our-identity as ours. I hope when I come back in a year, the same frustration would not await me! I hope I see the library shifted to a new building, with the missing books restored and the funds used in the rightful place.  

I left in the afternoon. With a frown still on my brows I headed to visit yet another batch of cousins and meet nephews and nieces I haven’t met before.

I got invited for dinner at U Thanga’s place, a bachelor pad. Four men ate with me but I swear I ate the most. Ha!! Arama took me to visit his elder sister’s family after dinner and later that night he dropped me off at my aunt’s place where I am to spend the night.

Working at Lawngtlai will be much more difficult if it hadn’t been for the Vuangtu brothers. So, if you are reading this Aram and U Thang, A zillion thanks, I owe you one. You guys are the best, indeed!!

Grinning away while sandwiched by my superheroes! :D 

Entry 12: Field: Day 3: Working on a Pentikost Sunday

12th June 2011, Sunday

Lawngtlai.

It’s a Sunday today , an Pentikost Sunday. And like any Christian, I went off to church for a sermon and a Sunday School lesson afterwards. A new face that I was, I was mistaken to be the fiancé of an old friend from Shillong who was supposed to get married the next month. A few women who knew my mother argued saying that I looked too much like Tluangpuii  (my mother)  to be Elvis’ fiancé. Ah! Women!! Ah! Life!

The children's choir on Pentikost Sunday. Nazareth Baptist Church, Council Veng, Lawngtlai.

After church, Arama called me and rushed me to meet the contact that he made. And rush did I, complete with my Sunday best to meet the contact.

One of the best encounters I’ve have had during my fieldwork so far is that I made contact with Salai Ramdinglian Lahnim. A strapping young man of 29 years, I’ve never met someone more passionate with his language with his identity and with his nationality. He really inspired me to get into the groove and get obsessed with my research. Mading spent hours and hours with me helping me answer queries, giving me basic sentences in Lai and background information on certain topics I wanted to know. He also gave me contacts that, I know, will be useful during the course of my field and my research as well.

Dinner at my uncle’s place left me full-stomached. What can I say, well-cooked chicken seasoned with crushed sesame is my favourite serve. More work after dinner with Mading. U Thanga, Arama’s elder brother and a School Principal opened his home to us and accommodated us while we carried out our discussion and our queries.

A Sunday well spent. Tomorrow, I hope to visit the Lai District Council Library and will also make a quick stop at the Art and Culture Department.

I think I like Lawngtlai… A lot!!!

Entry 11: Field: Day 2: Lawngtlai

11th June 2011, Saturday.

Lawngtlai

After I slept like a log from exhaustion and sleep deficiency, I woke up at 6:50 AM. I got out of bed to realize I woke up at mid-morning. People get up really early here, and it’s already late morning before you know it.

After brunch, I headed towards my uncle’s place. My uncle who hailed from the same village as my dad, was supposed to be my first informant. My ‘bey-blade’ addict nephew (did I get that right??) was sweet enough to show me the way. My uncle’s house was perched on a little hillock with a little fruit orchard surrounding the picturesque old house. After spending two hours with my uncle who sometimes scratched his head and closed his eyes, trying to remember some Lai words that I asked him, I headed towards my cousin’s shop at the market place.

Auto-Rickshaw in Lawngtlai!! Where did I hear that autos can’t travel uphill??? Well not here in Lawngtlai. They climbed steep slopes and rugged terrain and don’t even seem to face a problem. Or are there different types of autorickshaws??? Mind you, I didn’t use an auto during this walk to the market. It was a beautiful day, clear skies and warm sunshine after the rainy yesterday and I walked half a kilometre and looked away as I walked,  staring at the buildings and terrain as I walked. People stared as I passed them. I must have looked stupid and out of place. When I reached my cousin’s shop, she scolded me for not taking an auto. Well, who would?? It’s a beautiful day and it’s meant for walking.

If you are from Lawngtlai, you may not agree to this. But for me, it’s funny how people know what other people have. I was still at my cousin’s shop helping her arrange her fresh arrivals of shoes when two young ladies came in. One tried on one pair of shoes and liked it, the other one promptly told her that a Mahumi from the same church has those shoes and with a whiff of ‘a common thuai ang’, they left. I giggled. People know each other so well here. It must have its shares of ups and downs.

So I left early to cook dinner but my cousin’s husband beat me to it. So I just lazed around the house when a  friend whom I’ve met and chatted with on Facebook payed me a visit. Ah! Us!! We talked as if we’re old friends and chatted the hours away until he left before dinner.

After dinner I went to visit my aunt, my mom’s youngest sister whom I haven’t met for years. The last time I met her was when she was preparing to get married. I remembered throwing a fit because I couldn’t attend the wedding because of my third year exams. Well, this time when she already had three productions kids. Her youngest was eight months and a KingKong size. I’ve never seen such a huge baby in my life. My thin and waif little aunt laughed and told me that people said ‘I fa hi I paw taih taih zel’.

The KingKong baby

A good day today. Working as well as catching up with families and meeting tons of cousins and nieces and nephews I haven’t met before.

Arama, the FB friend, hooked me up with another informant which I can hopefully meet the tomorrow. Tomorrow’s a Sunday, but when you are on the field, you are on the field. I have to make sure that I spend each day productively. 

Entry 10: Field: Day 1: On the Road

10th June, Friday
Aizawl-Lawngtlai

So under bad weather and old winds, I boarded a maxi cab and headed south.  I was supposed to be in Chennai for Nithya’s wedding, but rain and clouds cancelled my flight and my fieldwork has to start.It saddens me that I have to miss the Nit-Mut wedding but the show must go on. If you’re reading this Nithya, this is not an apology… I will spend the rest of my life making countless apologies.

After years of being a motion sickness slave, public transport isn’t really my comfort bubble. Why? Because I have to discipline myself and not retch when I throw up or throw a tantrum when I get heavy headed. Yet I’ve gotten used to it after staying away from home for years and lately, I haven’t gotten motion sick. However the night before my journey, I slept for two hours and I didn’t have time to grab a quick breakfast the next day. Thanks to my dad who got too finicky lest I miss my cab. Needless to say, the nine-hour journey from Aizawl to Lawngtlai was perfectly laced with sleep deficiency and motion sickness. Well, that heavy-headedness didn't stop me from taking a sawhchiar break at Tawipui South.

Tawipui South Speciality!!

Finally, when the sumo reached Lawngtlai, I heaved a huge sigh of relief and headed towards my cousin’s place. Funny I’m still motion sick even after dinner.

Now here I am all ready for bed and yet it’s only 8:30 PM. If I was in Delhi, I would just be getting ready for dinner.  

Entry 9: Lazy, Lazy week!

Where do I start?? It's been a super lazy week!

After I mailed my supervisor my latest data jumble for my new synopsis, I haven't been doing nothing at all. (Downloading articles count as nothing??) And I sent that mail on Tuesday. 

What have I been doing in the meantime? Well, apart from checking my mail everyday to see if Ayesha has mailed me her feedbacks (Yes! My supervisor preferred to be called by her first name! Cool??), I've been taking a break from the endless partying with Mr. Crabbs and Maximus and stayed over with a friend while I nurse my onset of early prickly heat. (Funny!! Prickly heat is my June bug!) And since I have just a week more before I leave on a Jet plane (And I mean a JET plane!!), I spend the last days of the week hunting down gifts for my nieces and collecting recipes to cook something different for my dad. I know I sound like a dutiful daughter, but don't judge until you taste my cooking! This girl can burn water! Just one of the many reasons why I am in research and still single instead of being pregnant and bare feet in the kitchen, paving the way to my husband's heart with my delicious cuisine! I still try nonetheless, to please my Dad with my culinary attempts! :)

It's been a lazy week altogether. And I feel guilty each day I don't work. I have earned myself a research fellowship where I am 'paid' Rs. 533.33 approx every single day. Based on how I work this week, I haven't done anything to get that much money. At least, I should work enough to earn at least half the amount I'm 'paid'. Agreed?

  

 But Sunday's just come and gone, and I need to kick start myself into work again. 

Have you ever had a lazy week? What happens when you feel guilty over it?

Entry 8: Gear Shift

Major Gear Shift!!

Last week, I had my MPhil viva. I expected to faint, go tongue tied or hyperventilate inside the chairperson's room where the viva was conducted. But when I 'emerged' from the room to my darling Phabo waiting in the corridor 32 minutes later (Yes! he timed me) I realized I was still kicking. My dissertation was combed with a  fine tooth comb and my external examiner also gave me suggestions on how to go about from the thesis and what all and what not to continue doing. By the way, my dissertation was on "Definite and Indefinite Descriptions in Mizo"

So considering the inputs from my Viva and many others, my supervisor and I decided to switch gears with my PhD synopsis. Initially, I was planning to work on 'the morpho-syntax of Mizo and Lai', but now, I've started drafting another one on 'the descriptive study on the nominal groups in Mizo and Lai'. I know, I know, my previous synopsis is already complete. The stress, sleepless nights and trips to North Delhi for data collection, I will not mention. Major gear shift ey? But if, in the end, the shift is helping me write a better, stronger and  more solid thesis, sacrificing 6 months is nothing at all.

So it seems I'll spend a majority of my summer on the field collecting data. I can't wait to start! I just hope I'll get to travel WITHOUT parental supervision. But from this evening's call with my dad, it seems it won't be happening! "...But I've been waiting for you to come home, so we can both travel. I have some work down south too!!"  Dad, I'm only 4 years away from 30!

So I'll have to meet my supervisor for a couple more times before I leave, clear everything with the questionnaires and identify what details I should be looking out for. Then I'm off. I'll be home after 2 years!! Untill then, with my roomie gone for vacay, I'll try to battle off prickly heat with DermiCool powder and party in the heat with Maximus and Mr. Crabbs, my two room lizards!

Entry 7: O me of little knowledge!

I know, I know! I'm still in the process of 'acquiring' knowledge. 

But today, I had my moment of self-loathing! I realized, yet again, how could such a big head hold such little knowledge!! 

It all started this morning when I woke up to a sandstorm! Panic was the first thing that hit me when I jump out of bed, closed the door and window, wore a wet mask and pop an antihistamine pill. I know, I sound like a freak but I know I just had my last laugh 'cause there's no sore throat, blocked nose and everlasting eye-goop as I write this down tonight. Anyway, as the perpetual blamer that I am, I decided that the morning episode has got to do with the fact that my mind refuses to function for the rest of the day! (As if I've never had an unproductive day before!!.) Guess how I spent my entire day.

9:30 AM - Munching breakfast while checking FB notification, mail and twitter.

10:00 AM - Opened my book "Aspects by Bernard Comrie". 

11:00 AM - Aspects by Bernard Comrie. Page 64. (Ok, how does Imperfective work in Mizo??)

11:30 AM - Hey!! dawn in Mizo = la in Lai??? 

11:45 AM - Practical Magic has finished downloading. Heigh Ho! It's movie time!

12:30 PM - Lunch time! Eeeekss... the sandstorm's still blowing! Can't go out of the room!

1:15 PM - That's it, Sandstorm or no sandstorm, I'm going out.

2:00 PM - Sweating away while sandwiched between a computer and a mini-fridge. Can aspects be diectic??? 

3:00 PM - What's the difference between chiah and tawh Mizo?? Where do you use hna in Lai??

3:30 PM - dawn, tep, ang in Mizo = Imperative Future????

5:00 PM - Ok what's the difference between tense and aspect in Mizo???

5:30 PM - I totally forgot, Phabo's (boyfriend) coming over. Drat! Running water stopped. Running from one cubicle to another, stealing water from buckets.

7:30 PM - Phabo left.

8:00 PM - Can Aspects be diectic in the first place??

10:00 PM- No evidence in other languages so far! :(

11:00 PM - This very line!

So as you can see, I literally spend the whole day on Mizo Aspect. And here I am still asking myself the same question!

O Big Head... why can't you contain a bigger brain???

O me of little knowledge! 

That's when supervisors become Northern Stars!

Entry 6: Writing Therapy

I guess I have come to a point in my life when I write to give myself therapy. As I am doing right now.

Tonight, I feel like a failure. Or am I just getting another bout of PMS?? 

I remembered that look of my roommate when she came back after a bad presentation. "Seni, I feel like dropping out of MPhil. My presentation went so bad today, I couldn't even answer one single question! Gawd! I don't even know what I am doing here!". I, on my part, comforted her about the hundred more bad and good presentations and papers which we will have to go through because we choose this path. And how every one will take its part in shaping our minds.

Tonight I am far from the comforting roommate that I was that day. Tonight I need someone or something to comfort me. And I just don't know why?? And that is where the writing therapy comes in. I write in my journal, I blog and I write my letters to God. I know it's weird but I've been doing it for a couple of years now. It's just one of my many ways of connecting with Him. 

Coming back to my work, my MPhil viva just got over. It wasn't very good, but it wasn't as bad as I expected. My external examiner and my supervisor gave me very good inputs as well as what to do, how to go ahead and what to avoid in the future. My viva just gave me another wake up jolt on how keen and alert I should be as a researcher, especially with a lesser known language.

I am meeting my supervisor this coming week and then we'll discuss on how to go on with PhD and everything else. I am really keen to continue working with my present supervisor. I couldn't ask for better. Let's face it, the very fact that she prefers to be called by her first name says a lot about her. Especially, in a place and society, where people would kill for respect even in the form of an address term. 

If everything went well, then I also hope to spend my summer collecting data. Well, this means I will have to do some travelling bit. I will finally see my family after two years. Yes. Two whole years. My nieces have grown so big now and I haven't met the latest addition to the family. I'm sure we'll brew up a storm when I meet the little Hranglungs.

Though I can't really pinpoint on the reason why, I am in unrest! And my blocked sinusitis won't let me escape to Slumberland. Ahhh!! How I detest sandstorm season in Delhi!! 

And then I write. A blog entry, a letter or a prayer.

What's your therapy?